So my birthday is this Sunday and I will FINALLY be 21!!!! Besides being able to drink legally I am not the happiest person around my birthday.  This has always been the case for as long as I can remember.  Being adopted is rough and now a days it seems to bother me. I need to get control of this and overcome it.  I don’t like feeling hopeless and empty.  It is just so hard to put a smile on my face when it isn’t sincere.  

On another note my boy is coming to spend the weekend with me.  All I want is to be able to wake up and the first thing I see is his handsome face.  That is my only birthday gift I wanted… looks like my wish will come true. :-) 

That’s it for now… peace.

I didn’t get a choice of what family I would be put into.  If it was my choice I would have it a different way and when I say family I mean everyone besides my parents, grandpa and uncle.  The rest are rude and hurtful.  They make me feel like I am the outcast in the family.  So I am done, done with putting in the time and energy to these people. 

I deserve better than that.  

Rest in peace to my gorilla
man. The memories of all the times and memories we have had together has been more than I could ask for. I love you for loving me so much and making me feel like I’m a part of the family it was mainly you and grandpa that has done that. I know your in heaven and no longer trapped, for this I feel relieved for you. But there’s no doubt that I am missing you. My heart breaks and my eyes can’t stop tearing up. I love you Uncle George.

I didn’t get to chose who my family became, but now it is quite obvious to me that I don’t belong with the one that God has put me with. So I am done trying to reach out to them and being nice when I get nothing in return.  They don’t deserve me as family.  This I am just fine with.  This goes to everyone minus my parents and dog. 

Maybe they will learn what’s truly important in life.

Its rough when all you wanted is to feel like you belong to a family and that they actually care about you. I try to reach out but I get nothing in return. They don’t know how this makes me feel. What have I done to be ignored like this?!